Growing up in the Dominican community or any other Spanish speaking one can guarantee you a few things. You will undoubtedly be part of a very close-knit family. You will love your culture. And last, but not least, you will be expected in more cases than not to get an education, a good job “y que te case y me de un par de hijos.” But one thing that is very clear [and Dominican men go through it in a much lesser capacity] is that the pressure we place on Dominican women is UNREAL, and sometimes leads these women to make bad decisions emotionally and financially to appease their loved ones. “Cuando tu te vas casar?” “Ah pero ya es tiempo de hijos. Tu no tiene novio?” In my previous relationship, I remember my ex-girlfriend hearing this all the time not just when she was with me but before she even dated me. I know my sister hears it all the time. I know many Dominican women who I’ve dated hear it as well. I know a girl I’m talking to who is told she’s wasting her time not trying to find a husband. And any stop in a local salon on a weekend will at least have you hear those two famous sentences once. But the problem is that everyone says this for selfish reasons. Now, don’t get me wrong, when my grandmother says “I want you to have kids,” I’m sure she says it because she doesn’t want me to end up alone or without a family. And she also wants to see grandkids before she passes. It would make her feel special. But the key word in all of this even if it’s without malicious intent is “her.” Whenever someone is pushing for you to have kids or settle down/get married it’s more about him/her than it is about you. If your friends have kids they want you to experience the same things they do. Though they aren’t going to clean, feed, finance or do any of that. So, whenever you hear that statement it’s something they want for you not necessarily what you may want or need at this moment in your life. In some cases, it’s almost as if the person you have it with doesn’t matter as long as you have it. Throughout my life, I’ve seen too many brilliant Dominican women fall victim to this by dating men that everyone knows they don’t belong with. Not just because they aren’t professionally all there but also financially. I can be honest. In the past, I’ve been a good boyfriend. I’ve also been a bad boyfriend. There were some women [that no matter what I told them or myself] I surely wasn’t ready to be financially responsible with. If you as a man aren’t ready to be financially ready for a woman there’s no reason that woman should look at you as a long-term reality [same goes for women in reverse]. Now, that’s not to say the women I dated in the past were perfect, but I know I wasn’t ready to take the next step with either of them. I’m just keeping it real. But sometimes, the worst decisions come in loneliness. Like anyone else, many women feel lonely. Many see age creep up on them. They hear the whispers from family and so forth. And many end up dating men who aren’t exactly in their league. Who may have it all together except for the important areas of emotional and financial maturity. Because let’s be real, there’s no woman in New York City [to be specific] that should get into a relationship and have children [in an expensive city like this one] with a man who isn’t up to the task in both departments. So to all the Dominican mothers, grandmothers, tia’s and prima’s who practice this type of nonsense: CUT IT OUT! It’s not helping. Acknowledge your daughters, cousins, nieces, and grandchildren for all their success and the great things they have accomplished instead of glossing over it. It isn’t 1950 anymore. It may be in DR still but it’s not 1950 in the US. A woman’s purpose isn’t to tend to a man, cook, clean, have kids and get married to live an accomplished life… *EXCERPTS from “Dominican Americans” by Claudio E. Cabrera Claudio Eduardo Cabrera is a 34-year-old award-winning writer and audience development expert who was born and raised in the Inwood section of Manhattan to parents from the Dominican Republic. Over the last ten years, Cabrera has worked for some of the digital space’s most notable brands such as CBS and the New York Times. Outside of his professional career, the discussions around race and colorism in Latino communities is something he’s written about extensively, specifically around the Dominican community. He plans to release a book in 2018 focused on his life’s experiences and those of other Latinos of African ancestry. Follow his Facebook page HERE

11 thoughts on “We Need to Stop Pressuring Young LATINA Women”

  1. What i do not realize is if truth be told how you’re not actually a lot more well-favored than you may be right now. You are very intelligent. You already know therefore significantly relating to this matter, produced me in my view believe it from numerous numerous angles. Its like women and men aren’t fascinated except it¡¦s something to do with Girl gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent. All the time deal with it up!

  2. Rekorist markası olarak en güncel haber, sağlık, spor ve daha binlerce kategoride bilgiyi sizlere ulaştırmanın mutluluğunu yaşıyoruz. Tekrar etmeden kısa ve öz anlatımı, görsel ve video ile destekleyerek sıkıcı bir hal alman yayınları sizlere anlık sunuyoruz. Rekorist, bünyesinde yer alan her türlü içerik özenle hazırlanmakta ve gündemin son haberleri hızlı şekilde takip edilmektedir. Yurttan ve dünyadaki gelişmeleri analiz ederek doğruluk payı yüksek olan her konuda sizleri bilgilendiriyoruz. Sektöre adım attığımız ilk günden belli büyük bir serüvenin içinde küçük olmayı hiç arzulamadan sonuca odaklı çözümler yarattık. Ve bunu başarmış olmanın öz güveniyle bugünde varız ve hep olacağız diyoruz.

  3. I think this is among the most vital information for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But want to remark on some general things, The website style is wonderful, the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers

  4. I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this web site. I’m hoping the same high-grade web site post from you in the upcoming as well. Actually your creative writing skills has inspired me to get my own blog now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a great example of it.

  5. What i do not understood is actually how you are not actually much more well-appreciated than you may be right now. You’re so intelligent. You understand thus significantly on the subject of this subject, produced me in my view believe it from numerous numerous angles. Its like men and women are not involved until it is one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs outstanding. All the time deal with it up!

  6. I have fun with, cause I discovered just what I used to be having a look for. You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

  7. As 1 new york seo company, seo services are performed in accordance with the criteria of search engines in order to give a more accurate result to users. These SEO services are tailored to the user experience, and social media support is provided when necessary. In-site SEO operations; There are many factors such as the quality of the images, the appropriateness of domain names to site content, and the speed of the site. The services we provide are 100% organic seo service

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.