Cuando era dominicano, viajaba cada diciembre a la isla, con cuatro maletas llenas de escombros y cadenas prestadas. Cuando era dominicano no hacia fila y me convencieron de que eran mis enemigos los haitianos. Cuando era dominicano no dejaba dormir a los vecinos con la bachata del Mayimbe a to’ lo que da, sobornaba a la policía, manejaba borracho porque “eso no e’ na”. Cuando era dominicano Leonel era un milagro, creía en el periódico y los periodistas comprados, veía novelas, buscaba en el periódico cuantos poncho Pedro y fui parte del alboroto aquel del 98 y los 66 de Sammy. Llegaba tarde, todo lo dejaba “pa’ depue”, 5 minutos eran media hora, “ta’ to”, “que lo que”, “te veo ahorita”, “te pago depue”, bebía romo malo, apostaba a los caballos, comía chimi trasnochado, andaba a la moda con t shirts clonados.
Cuando yo era dominicano creía que todos los merengues eran auténticos, que Balaguer era bueno, que los santeros eran brujos. Cuando era dominicano, me iba en los semáforos rojos y en verde disminuía por si acaso. Cuando era dominicano, la única comida eran las habichuelas con el arroz blanco, comía quipe, pastelitos, mangu, yaniqueque, sancocho, cocido, mondongo, guinea, gallina, locrio, y a veces gato. No me dejaba la barba ni me atrevía andar en calipsos. Cuando yo era dominicano compraba en Macys y no en el Mundo, los carros Honda, Toyota, y Nissan eran los únicos que servían, llevaba una sociedad para la construcción y de vez en cuando creía en dios. Cuando era dominicano metía la mano por Manny, Sammy, y el Big Papi y a veces solo metía la mano. Pedía rebaja, no pagaba y en vez de ayudar, hundía a un compueblano.
Cuando yo era dominicano pensaba que lo más importante era el dinero, que Duarte era el padre de la patria. Cuando yo era dominicano hacia campana, rifaba, jugaba un palé por si me saco. Cuando yo era dominicano, prestaba a rédito, alquilaba un cuarto, me las sabía todas y no era ciudadano. Cuando yo era dominicano hablada alto, hacia ademanes y discutía sin saber lo que estaba hablando, tenia una bandera en mi carro, brincaba de patio en patio, era experto en domino, pintin tin, romy 3 y 2, parches, dados, tablero, tenia 5 novias y una vieja que me daba dinero. Cuando yo era dominicano, era feliz, aunque me cogieran de pendejo. Era tiguere, me ponía chivo y odiaba a los pajaros, cuando yo era dominicano en todo era en un caballo, me hacía el burro y hablaba como perico. Cuando yo era dominicano, aunque me llevara el diablo, andaba a la moda y aparentaba rico.
Es que esta semana me han preguntado 7 veces que si soy dominicano, y yo contesto, “a veces.”
Copyright © 2015 Henry Francisco
Connect with Henry via his blog Washington Heights.
Henry Francisco is a 2nd generation Dominican born in Villajuana and currently living in Washington Heights, NYC. He is an avid backpacking traveler, a competitive road cyclist and founder of Montecci bikes.
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